you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
