do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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