Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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