I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
