I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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