Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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