his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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