I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
