thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
