Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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