I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
