I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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