I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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