This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
