Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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