Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
The dick lei will go down in squad history
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
