i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You need Xanax blowdarts
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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