I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
