using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
