how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
