dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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