absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
