Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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