One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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