And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
