Kareoke will never be a sober sport
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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