you guys were way drunker than both of me
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
