I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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