and next time when you feel me up, do it right
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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