Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
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