the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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