Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
