Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
The best revenge is premature balding
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
