I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
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