Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
