Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
