I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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