problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
