Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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