i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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