You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
