Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
