I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
