butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
So much rum. So many feels.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
