Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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