Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
