haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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