Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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