they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
