I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
