But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Randomize
