This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
