You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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