im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
