I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
