hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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