one might say we're banned from that church
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
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