She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
