Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
