Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize