Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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