You just made me feel so damn special
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
