What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
