You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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