its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
It was like giving head to a cactus.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
