yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
