If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
