Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
